We know some News Bulletin readers pick up the paper and read the beefs before they read any news stories or scan any ads and flyers. And we’re OK with that. We love Beefs & Bouquets, too. The News Bulletin’s Beefs & Bouquets page has been a regular feature for nearly 30 years, and we get more submissions these days than we ever have.
Our Beefs & Bouquets pages are archived at this link, and if you’re on Twitter, please consider following our Beefs & Bouquets account @BeefsBouquets.
With that, here are the Beefs of the Year for 2020:
#10:
To lazy, irresponsible children who didn’t ask to be born.
Beef to the lazy, irresponsible children who feel they are owed a living because they didn’t ask to be born. Who was? So, you expect to freeload off your parents and society forever?
#9:
To the corner store that would not sell a package of cigarettes to a 55-year-old who didn’t have his ID with him.
Beef to the corner store that would not sell a package of cigarettes to a 55-year-old man who just got off work and didn’t have his ID with him. Has the world gone crazy?
#8:
To the rascals who heckled my elderly friends and I. We were trying to have a COVID-safe seniors speed-dating gathering.
Beef to the rascals at Bowen Park who heckled my elderly friends and I. We were trying to have a COVID-safe seniors speed-dating gathering and your noisy ruckus and loud horsing off scared off many participants.
#7:
An unruly anti-masker kicked me in my privates.
Bouquet to the staff at Woodgrove Centre who assisted me after an unruly anti-masker kicked me in my privates.
#6:
Bouquet to the person who sent in the beef about the rude couple. That couple would be my father and his girlfriend.
Bouquet to the person who sent the beef about the rude couple at the fast food restaurant. I want to say a huge thank you for standing up for that poor person who had to endure their bullying. That couple would be my father and his girlfriend. It’s about time someone told them off.
#5:
To the winner of the first annual Departure Bay adult-versus-child picnic table foot race.
Beef to the man at Departure Bay Beach who actually started running in a foot race to a picnic table as he saw my 12-year-old daughter approaching it. You were so kind to offer her the table you already had as a consolation prize.
#4:
To Halloween, a mockery of death and our beloved deceased.
Beef to Halloween, a celebration of death, weapons, blood and murder. Halloween is a mockery of death and our beloved deceased. Why do we celebrate it?
#3:
11-year-old News Bulletin reader beefs about their troubles.
I wish my sisters would stop annoying me. And I wish my friends would stop correcting me.
#2:
I understand that cutting in front of me in kickball is part of his journey.
Bouquet to the boy in my gym class trying to work on his patience skills. I understand that cutting in front of me in kickball is part of his journey and I wish him the best.
#1:
To the woman who called the police and told them I was selling drugs. The bag contained two rainbow trout.
Beef to the woman who called the police and told them I was selling drugs at the parking lot. She said she saw me with a bag of drugs. The bag contained two rainbow trout.
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