To the editor,
Anti-maskers, anti-maskateers, or whatever they call themselves, are frequently in your face protesting alleged denial of their constitutional rights, rather than having a mask on their faces protecting themselves and others. Serious considerations, indeed, but with the festive season upon us let’s turn our attention to those usually plain black masks worn by our prominent Ottawa politicians. After tête-à-tête consultations with my pet macaw, Chico, we came up with a bird-brained idea to use lyrics from a Christmas song or carol to brighten each mask.
For example, Green Party masks would be a no-brainer, having words of the Holly and the Ivy illustrated; an extra-large size would be available for their senior MP in Ottawa to accommodate her constantly flapping jaws.
The Conservative Party leader seems to have been banished to Ottawa’s out-house or cattle-shed, and rarely seen since his election. His mask would depict words from Away in a Manger.
The Bloc Quebecois leader would look perfect with a mask representing words from Deck the Halls. That chorus line of “fa lala lala lala lala” has never made much sense to anyone listening – just like frequent utterances from this politician – and it can be misunderstood in both official languages.
The New Democratic Party leader’s mask would carry lyrics from the Little Drummer Boy. After all, the leader always makes repetitive background noises sounding eerily like “pa-rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum.”
Last, but never least, is the Liberal Party leader whose mother gave birth to him on Dec. 25. Words from that calypso-styled carol Mary’s Boy Child would be ideally suited for his mask, with lyrics slightly revised to “Maggie Trudeau’s man-child, juvenescent Justin, was born on Christmas Day.”
Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas greetings to all at the newspaper and to all your readers,
Bernie Smith, Parksville
The views and opinions expressed in this letter to the editor are those of the writer and do not reflect the views of Black Press or the Nanaimo News Bulletin.
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