Beef to the lady who walked up in the parking lot and starting touching my baby without asking and then gave me a confused ‘why not?’ when I said I prefer no touching.

Beef to the lady who walked up in the parking lot and starting touching my baby without asking and then gave me a confused ‘why not?’ when I said I prefer no touching.

Beefs & Bouquets, April 20

To submit a beef or a bouquet to the Nanaimo News Bulletin, e-mail editor@nanaimobulletin.com

BOUQUET To the protesters who are standing and raising the Canadian flag in support of all Canadians for our freedom to choose. To choose where and when we travel, what we put in our body, the right to keep our job without being coerced into something we don’t believe in.

BEEF To the ‘freedom’ convoy participants who view Canada as a totalitarian country where no one has freedoms. I take exception to that and say to them that Canada has so much freedom that it gives a voice even to people who have hijacked our flag and continue to beat their head against the wall in protest of something that is resolving itself.

BOUQUET To Tamara for finding my cellphone at the Bay and for answering my phone when my husband was trying to call it just in case someone would answer it. You took the time to answer it and made sure that it was returned to me. Thank you so much.

BEEF To the lady who walked up in the parking lot and starting touching my baby without asking and then gave me a confused ‘why not?’ when I said I prefer no touching. Even without COVID, can we not touch other people’s children and pets without permission, please?

BOUQUET I would like to thank the two gentleman and staff on Bowen Road who assisted me when I was having trouble breathing in the parking lot. They all were very professional, caring and thoughtful. I really appreciated the help, many thanks to all.

BEEF To jackhammering on Old Victoria Road. At three feet a day it looks like we are in for a long noisy summer. Why not add another machine and get the job done faster so we don’t have to put up with this ear-splitting noise for what seems forever? Please put us out of this misery.

BOUQUET To Joanne in ambulatory care. Her nursing skills are second to none. The compassion and attention she gave to me were amazing. She took extra time to make sure I understood my procedure and was completely comfortable. Your care didn’t go unnoticed. Also to Lain in recovery – you also are a diamond in your profession.

BEEF To the beefer insisting that the plural of beef is beeves. If the plural of moose is meese, we observe distinct swapping of double vowels. By said rule, the plural of beefs is accurately boofs, hence, Boofs & Bouquets. Clearly, you need this explained.

BOUQUET Thank you to the Western Edge Theatre folks for wonderfully entertaining presentation of The Cult of Brother 12. We were so ready to enjoy an evening of live theatre and realized we hadn’t laughed so hard for a long time. It takes so much work and energy to present such a play night after night from set changes to acting and more behind the scenes. Nanaimo is fortunate to have this theatre.

BEEF To homophobes attacking and driving away members of the 2SLGBQT-plus community. As a mother of members of this community, I can tell you this: To level an accusation at them of ‘eyeing’ you salaciously is simply flattering yourself. You’re clearly unattractive from the inside out by projecting your insecurities.

BOUQUET Huge thank you to doctors, nurses, technicians, and all support staff at NRGH. During a recent stay in the ER and hospital I was treated with kindness, patience and empathy while health-care workers dealt with cranky, demanding patients. You are truly angels.

BEEF To the store. The toilet paper in your restrooms is useless and your hand dryer blows such cold air that the elderly, who already have cold hands, have to get frozen before it heats up.

BOUQUET To my neighbours on Quill Drive, Jim and Dorothy, fire and ambulance, nurses, porters, Paul W. and partner Jennime, and Ann the hospital volunteer. Everyone who helped me in February. Thanks for everything.

BEEF To the beef that would assertively request this column be changed to Beeves & Bouquets. Merriam-Webster defines the plural of beef as beefs when referring to a complaint. Your beef is with multiple-moo beeves, not these rooftop beefs.

BOUQUET To all the hospital employees who are working under a shortage of staff and come to work for their shifts. Beef to the people who shout abuse and swear at the employees when they are doing their job, maybe they need to find care elsewhere.

BEEF To the city. Stop with the bike lanes. The corners are so dangerous that there will be a lot more cyclists hit by cars.

BOUQUET To the people who stand for the freedom of all. It is time to stand together to end the oppression and discrimination. Love thy neighbours.

BEEF To those wanting their flag back. Did you care when we were allowed to go to big box stores but not to church? Did you care about the hardships faced by small business owners due to government restrictions?

BOUQUET To the wonderful gentleman who assisted my husband and I up four flights of stairs as well as helping us down the stairs with our walker in tow. The elevator at the doctor’s office was out of service, leaving two stranded senior citizens to struggle. Greatly appreciated.

BEEF To the woman on Departure Bay Beach who took a freshly laid goose egg. When confronted, she scoffed at me. Poor mama goose.

BOUQUET To the freedom convoy and their motto ‘love and peace.’ They stood up for our Canadian rights and freedoms. They deserve our Canadian flag. They inspired freedom convoys in other countries, which then flew our flag too.

BEEF To the beef that bad-mouthed an easily identifiable locally owned business with encouragement to boycott them based on a personal opinion.

BOUQUET Thank you so much to the Nanaimo councillors who supported the environment by voting to advocate to stop natural gas hookups on new homes. The devastation of last year’s fires and floods shows how the greatest economic toll on society is from high carbon imprint. These acts are vital.

BEEF To the cold beer and wine store that allowed a dog to climb up on the counter where customers place items for payment.

BEEF To the beefer who beefs about the word beef. If one truly understands the variances of the English language, one would know there are two meanings of beef. Beeves is the plural word for the beef animals that supply the product known as beef. The other slang use of the word beef is to convey disagreement, hence the slang word beefs for a multitude of disagreement statements.

BOUQUET To the businesses that use receipts to customers that are BPA- and BPS-free. Much safer for customers and cashiers.

BEEF To the woman behind me as we were boarding the bus at Horseshoe Bay. You very rudely shoved your suitcase against the heel of my shoe not once, but twice. You shouted ‘I want to get a seat.’ I am a senior, I want a seat too. Shame on you. Respectfully wait your turn.

BOUQUET The correct plural for beef is beef or beeves. There is no requirement to change your column from Beefs & Bouquets to Beeves & Bouquets.

BEEF To the person who complained about the NDP and Liberals forming a coalition. One, it is not a coalition, and two, you are welcome to move down south of the border.

BOUQUET To the City of Nanaimo for the new and improved walking path through Bowen Park.

BEEF To the artist who puts their thoughts all over town on poles. You could display them neatly from your own property, like many others. What you do is really no different than taggers who vandalize.

BOUQUET To Tim. You’re always present when we’re in need of a helping hand. Not only to us but to all the people in your neighbourhood. You are an unselfish soul. We all love you dearly.

BEEF I’m so disappointed that my friend turned out to be a proletarian with her obscene remarks. I’m so sad losing her.

BOUQUET To Judy and Dave for filling the hole by the garbage can and cleaning the flower bed. Thank you so much. This makes our park look better.

BEEF To the mill and its union. My partners retired after decades of service and received absolutely no recognition, not even a card. Shame.

BOUQUET Congratulations to the Regional District of Nanaimo on the stellar work the RDN and the construction crew did on the boardwalk and stairs recently completed at Ammonite Falls. A joy to use by almost everyone. Money well-spent. However, signage should be in place advising the path is not stroller and wheelchair-friendly.

BEEF Your beef-beeves beef was erroneous. Dictionaries are wonderful. I don’t think these pages are meant for recipes on how to cook beef or beeves.

BOUQUET To Kelly for his perfect organization and very nice work at Thrifty Foods at Port Place.

BEEF I’m a senior with a fixed income in need of new dentures. To the leader of the NDP, I hope and pray the dental plan will happen in my lifetime to fix my chattering tooth decay.

BOUQUET To the magnificent people who step up to help others without being asked. Are you one of them?

BEEF To self-serving left-wing councillors. You are out of touch with reality.

BOUQUET To the gentleman in the black truck at the Tim Hortons at Nanaimo North Town Centre for paying for my order. You made my hectic morning so much better. From the lady with wet hair and the pink towel.

BEEF Will we never be rid of this awful trucker protest for no good reason? They could be living in Ukraine and have a real complaint.

BOUQUET To our two girls who are taking their precious time to pick up litter in the South Wellington neighbourhood. Thanks so much. And it’s not even a court order.

BEEF Far too many Canadians expect far too much from their governments and not near enough from themselves. Time to grow up, Canada.

BOUQUET To the Port Theatre Society. I tried to become a member and every mandatory salutation was heavily gendered. I e-mailed and asked if they could include an option of ‘Mx.’ for non-binary and gender non-conforming folks like myself and they wrote me back the same day letting me know the change had been made. Thank you for being an example of how making a small change can make organizations more inclusive.

BEEF About the Ukraine occupation. Every politician is acting like Napoleon Bonaparte, but without a solution.

BOUQUET To the person who blessed me with a beautiful painted rock with scripture on it. I found it at the Chinese memorial on Stewart Avenue by the garbage can. It just so happens that the day I found it, my heart was broken. The Lord used you to bless me. Thank you for having a loving spirit. May God bless you too.

BEEF To the beefer who mistakenly thinks that the one and only plural for beef is beeves. Read your dictionary. You will find that beefs is, in fact, the correct plural for beef when it is defined as a complaint.

BOUQUET To the Bulletin for this column. The beefs are hilarious and never disappoint for a great laugh. So fun to see what irks people. Thank you.

BEEF If I had a choice of a house with a sidewalk and one without, I would much prefer without. Developers know that. No bylaws forcing me to clear snow and possibly have a heart attack. I’d happily pay for the cleaning but it’s not easy to get someone. People don’t want a job like that and it carries such liability that derives from the bylaws. Parents don’t encourage kids for that reason. It’s a conundrum because I like walking and appreciate other people’s sidewalks.

To submit a beef or a bouquet to the Nanaimo News Bulletin, e-mail editor@nanaimobulletin.com.

Beefs and bouquets