’Twas the night before Christmas when athletes all pause,
Awaiting the road trip of a fellow named Claus.
Teams are relaxing with holiday fun,
Recalling events from the year nearly done.
My annual present each year at this time,
Is a holiday greeting composed as a rhyme.
The aim is for recognition of sorts
To folks in our city connected with sports.
So a Thorpe Report poem is again on display,
Though critics will likely react with dismay.
The metre’s uneven as readers will note,
With rhymes more contentious than AAP vote!
There are hundreds of athletes and coaches it seems,
Involved with a sport, or maybe on teams.
I’ve checked with great care while compiling my list;
Apologies, though, for names that I’ve missed…
With hockey for kids, the numbers are strong;
Pandher leads way, with Hughes and with Long;
Lawson and Stav, and Bowman have say;
Fipke, McEachen, help youngsters to play.
Top players were Coburn, Graystone as well,
As Ubilas, Fyfe, and Gow can all tell.
Schneider wants ice time for females to skate;
Refs and their linesmen with Gessner relate.
Adult league players are also on ice;
Pirozzini and Turko, with president Tyce.
Tubber’s Cup action much fun did allow,
As Amy will state, abetted by Howe.
For Buccaneer juniors, success is quite new;
Brandenburg’s team now has winning in view.
Nowicki had Mariners living the dream,
With VIU’s first-ever championship team!
Dry floor, not ice, features ball hockey league;
Avender’s efforts have made it succeed.
Roadrunners, Hammerheads, Huskies did well,
As Saywell with Lum and Maley will tell.
Our Clippers this season have logo that’s new;
In Coastal Division the team is on view.
Birkas is back to give coaching that’s strong;
Captain’s DeTurris, and owner is Kwong!
With Lonsdale and Kinch, the forwards are set;
Lavery’s defence, and Nixon’s in net.
But changes to rules have been harmful, it seems.
As players like Plante left for CHL teams!
Now out to the pitch, where soccer is king;
Wasserman, Kirby, its praises do sing.
Club named United does Coates oversee;
Cameron blows whistle as head referee!
Youth teams are aided by Dunlop so true;
Duncanson, Brown, and Montpetit too.
Hackett, DeMille, help players reach peak;
Of technical tactics, Fitzgerald will speak.
Soccer for women sees local teams strive;
Miller with Wheaties and Landry with Thrive.
For men in Div. 2, coach Neibel is seen,
Strikers are Lindstrom, Osakabe-Green!
Seniors Games gold was for Cowling in sight,
With Stephens, McNeil, McConnie and White.
Noble, MacLean, and Murphy were quick,
With Reynolds, McGrath, Parker and Dick.
Taylor and VIU women have told,
That PacWest provincials saw medal of gold.
Mariner men had coach Lindo it seems,
Who guided with Taylor the Harbourside teams!
For Football Nanaimo, now Currie stands tall,
As Seahawks see action in spring and in fall.
There’s Krampl and Keck, Bishop and Brown;
Southside has Robertson, Caul with renown.
Raiders this season some victories found;
Credit Arabsky, with coaching so sound.
Townsend was voted as team MVP,
As Bonsu, Toscano, and Smith would agree.
Stevenson brothers coached high schoolers here,
With Islanders playing in triple-A tier.
Bulldogs from Barsby had strong junior team;
Subway Bowl final sure earned them esteem!
At Pioneer Park, now rugby’s the thing;
Marshall ensures that the Hornets will sting.
Cowdrey and Cooper get players in gear,
Hoping new lighting at field will appear!
For Norby and Kemp, lacrosse teams do play,
As Gunderson, Coulson, and Dmytruk will say.
Swanson was there to help coaches gain skill;
To register players gave Prontack a thrill!
Sanderson, Branchi, their talent did prove;
Wagner as player was quick to improve.
Sanderson, Walde, and Havelaar soared;
Top goalie was Minifie, with Fulla Award!
Coaching top honour saw Toth as the best;
Carter as referee outshone the rest.
Youth teams at Islands claimed medals of gold;
Palmer and Gilbert their players extolled.
Of junior A Timbermen, Stocks can now sing;
For senior B players, Maughan gave them zing.
But quick end to season was hard to accept;
First round of playoffs saw both teams get swept!
Senior A T-Men had hopes that were high,
But missing the playoffs gave reason to sigh.
Now Nicholson, Nikula, have sights on next year;
With Bowman and Manns, the future is clear.
For Kollar and Jones, success was revealed,
As Raiders with Shaw played lacrosse on the field.
All-female tourney gave reason to cheer;
Van Isle Cup action was hosted right here!
When seasons are changing and weather is warm,
Ball fields are often where players will swarm.
Senior men’s fastball had Belton on board;
Wheatsheaf when batting saw many runs scored!
Slo-pitch is busy on fields at McGirr,
Where seniors mixed action creates quite a stir.
Dewey, Lemire, on bases do run,
Dumas and Allen help players have fun.
Softball for minors will McIntyre pump,
With Slater and Daly, and Talbot as ump.
Murray saw rep team of Diamonds so clear;
Robertshaw, Ringma, were coaches of year!
For kids playing baseball, McElroy bats,
Hope, Pellatt, and Taylor kept stats.
For Lypkie and Reed, all-stars worked hard;
Kungel was umping, and also Lessard.
MacDonald and U18 squad were in gear;
In prep team provincials the talent was clear!
VIU players on bases could strut,
With Mariners featuring Wedgewood and Dhut.
Mid Island Pirates had teams at the plate,
As Entwistle, Walton, and Dornan can state.
NightOwls missed playoffs, and Frady resigned;
New coach is Andreychuk, who quickly was signed!
We turn now to courts, with hoops or with walls,
For racquets and netting, birdies and balls.
Tennis at Westwood has Yung at the net;
Lusignan is coaching so juniors are set.
Trinidad likes to play tennis on table;
Squash club has manager Struthers quite able.
Walker and Clark will sing badminton’s song;
With Collery, Dunlop, Carruthers and Wong.
Pickleball players see Marshall stand tall,
With Edgar and Eaton, Korvin and Hall.
With new courts at Beban now open for play,
Club members cheered, and shouted ‘Hurray!’
Orton and Synnott at volleyball serve;
Nelson and Webb, and Densmore add verve.
Mariner club features Bevis with pep;
Games on a sand court are favoured by Epp!
VIU players competed with pride;
Men’s coach is Avender, women’s is Hyde.
At PacWest provincials the story was told,
That Mariner volleyball won double gold!
On basketball court was a similar story;
Provincials had men’s team with gold medal glory.
Kuzminski was coaching and gave them advice;
Women earned bronze, with guidance from Bryce.
Coaches in high schools had skills to impart,
Like Brown and McRae, McWhinnie and Hart.
Robertson, Giske, and Smith did assist,
With Letham and Vance, Russell and Quist.
For Dover Bay boys, hard work was the key,
Best on the Island, then tops in B.C.!
With triple-A win, no joy could be greater
For MVP Linder, coach Seaman and Slater.
Splitsville has alleys where bowling’s a lark;
Tenpins are rolled, and glow in the dark!
Houlding, Boudot, and Eby could cheer,
As five-pin provincials were hosted this year.
Advancing to nationals was cause for great glee,
For Harder and Hoff, Phillips, McGee.
Years of great memories will make Brittain glad,
But Brechin Lanes closing was really quite sad.
Now lawn bowling happens outside on the green,
Where Yewer with Rector and Tester are seen.
Sherry coached program for vision impaired;
MacIsaac and Ruckman some victories shared.
And also outside, with bats and a wicket,
Mandloi is leading revival of cricket.
Disc golf at Bowen makes Pottinger’s day;
Ultimate Frisbee has Heydemann play.
Hiltz is in charge at the club fish and game;
Black powder shooting sees Bowen take aim.
Archery prowess, McFarlane did show;
O’Brien won gold with his arrow and bow!
Can’t forget golf – it can drive you insane;
Wellington Wildcats with Lennox did train.
Wilson led team to a triple-A crown;
Jacklin and Schwager helped earn the renown.
Wilson and ‘Mac’ as pros give advice;
Cottonwood players are aided by Grice.
Prisnie and Harper with titles could cheer;
Skingle and Mathers both had a great year.
MacDonald has talent, and likewise does Hill;
Winchelsea improvements gave members a thrill.
Prokopenko from tee box can drive the ball far;
Me, I just wish I could manage a par!
Let’s plunge into water where swimmers cavort;
Carrier, Ryan, have Ebbtides support.
Burvill, Batara, had no need to fret,
As Pendergast national record did set!
Artistic swimming gives Diamonds their gleam;
Edwards, Provencher, help guide masters team.
Falconer, Veal, and Ramey could smile,
Competing in Europe on team from Van Isle!
Cottrell, McPherson, see Riptides get wet;
With Hayes, Pellegrino, the club is all set.
Head coach was Flood, with Roos at his side;
Barberie, Pearse, competed with pride.
White Rapids in summer learn plenty of strokes
From Cleary and Collins, Duffell and Stokes.
McInnes, Metituk, as coaches got raves;
Boan was instructor for polo in waves!
Peters likes paddling on top of the brine;
Barrington, Vokey, and Stewart do fine.
Manlow and Swets will know what to do,
With Rowe and with Mark, in kayak, canoe.
Rowing club’s headed by president Knight;
Rutherford’s coaching keeps everything right.
Charmley and Reis, at yacht club advance;
Daniel as sailor competed in France!
Angels Abreast are a dragonboat team,
With hosting a festival part of their dream.
For commodore Peacock, tubbing’s a sport;
Bathtub race winner last summer was Short!
Now that it’s winter and snow hits the ground,
Skiing at Washington, Trimmer is found.
Of figures on ice, Etherton talks,
With skating club coaching provided by Hawkes.
Our curling club’s ice is created by Boll;
New manager Barnes will rightly extoll.
On Weinreich and Thompson, Miller and crew;
On Konyer and Palynchuk, champions true.
On Franklin whose coaching helps juniors to click;
On Phillips and Barber who throw with a stick.
On Kenefick, too, who members will know;
In fund-raising contest beat Martin, a pro!
On Mitton and Abbot who sweep with great might,
On Lindsay and Jeffries with draw weight just right.
On Stapleton, Ramey, whose shots always score;
On Ruth who is skip, and is wife I adore!
With Nagy and Doyle, coach Welbourn could cheer;
Nanaimo Gymnastics School had a great year.
Phillips, DeSchutter, and Fudge were all slick,
And Szopa was chosen as Team B.C. pick!
VIP Gymsports gave Harbo a thrill;
Tisserand, too, with trampoline skill.
Kennedy, Mills, and Miller did well;
Tumbling saw Pillinger really excel!
Boxers with Richardson learn how to spar;
Morrow and Tour will help them go far.
Wrestling club training keeps grapplers on course,
With Leslie and Bruce, Carey and Morse.
For jiu-jitsu athletes, medals did gleam;
Biernacki and Burton led Island Top Team.
To Denney for training will kickboxers go;
Kim is a master to teach taekwondo!
Karate sees Nordli and Schulz on the mat;
Pilates is always where Merrett is at.
As martial arts Tiger does Stapleton train;
Master Viani will proudly explain!
Ollech with power lifts plenty of weight;
Placing at nationals really was great.
Robertson, Macys, Agusto, ring true;
All talented lifters with kettlebell crew!
Edmond and Seccombe both wander and hike;
Cradduck for charity cycles on bike.
Brawn is the head of the mountain bike camp;
Wilson sped downhill as national champ!
Riders at Wastelands give motocross show,
As Lenko, Wiltsey, and Sorrie all know.
On pump track at Beban is BMX seen;
Hashimoto with Barfoot and Stanley are keen.
Running is fun, says Behnke with glee;
Bastion club runners like Epps will agree.
Binnersley, Hebert, with Feschuk kept pace;
Horwood took job as director of race.
At cross-country Islands, Beaudoin was in place,
With Sinclair and Mark, Saunders and Chase.
Girls from ND a gold medal did get;
Romanik, Gauthier, Zult and Gillette.
With track and field action at Rotary Bowl,
Enjoyment for members was Heisterman’s goal.
Urbanowicz, Myint, and Cameron were back;
Thingsted administered meets on the track.
Provincials were hosted, and Paris did well;
At national level were Viers and Bell.
And former club member named Katzberg we know,
Won gold at Olympics with long hammer throw!
VIU programs for fitness and fun,
See Forrester, Carter, MacFarlane on run.
Mascarenhas and Brickwood had reason to cheer,
Honoured with title as Athletes of Year.
Harding and Osborne both rate our esteem;
Leaders at city of parks and rec team.
PacificSport’s Woolner says fitness is key,
As doctors like Kurytnik will quickly agree.
Four people last winter achieved great acclaim;
Inductees were added to sports hall of fame.
As builders or athletes their story was told;
Harper and Beier, van Oosten and Gold!
Now greetings to people whose business is sport;
They cover the games, and scores they report.
Holmes on the radio gives us the news;
Major and Marshall both offer their views.
And here at the Bulletin covering his beat,
Sakaki does sports from his editor’s seat.
Checking his stories and facts with great care,
Meeting each deadline with moments to spare!
And now to conclude this holiday rhyme,
Some favourite themes I’ll repeat at this time:
Fitness has value for health and for heart,
So keep yourself active and try to take part.
Games that are fun, more kids will enjoy,
But ‘win at all costs’ can pleasure destroy.
For players when young, learning’s the goal;
Improvement and effort should coaches extol.
No matter what sport, one rule is the same:
Always play fair, whatever the game!
And try to remember that when you compete,
Be humble in winning, show grace in defeat.
Give it your best, whatever you do,
But always show class – good sportsmanship too.
And now I’ll exclaim to all readers in sight:
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
Ian Thorpe writes about local sports twice a month in the News Bulletin. This is his 43rd annual local-sports-themed Thorpe Report Christmas poem.